There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
