its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
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