im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Randomize
