Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
