Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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