I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
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