you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Randomize
