Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
organizing the empties. That sober.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
