check it out our google latitudes are spooning
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
