after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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