How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
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We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
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I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
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