I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Randomize
