Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
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