I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
