i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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