After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
