I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
