The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
