you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
