on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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