You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
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The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
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WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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