On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
send nudes
from the living room?
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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