i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Randomize
