just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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