the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
