It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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