marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
the room spins SO much faster in panama
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
