I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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