I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
