i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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