I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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