at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
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