Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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