pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
