Having a random hookup so left but love u
I feel great
I just peed on a car
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Randomize
