If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
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