YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
