I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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