"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Randomize
