Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
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