Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
