but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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