It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
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