If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
