We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
no you cant smoke seaweed
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
