hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Randomize
