can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Randomize