The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
