I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
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