Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Randomize
