Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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