More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
i can't believe i had my finger in that
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Randomize
