Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
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