They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
