You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
17 year olds will be the death of me.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
we're so committed to being not committed
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
