really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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