he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
