it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
