A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
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