i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
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