So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
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