best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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