I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
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