its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Randomize
