Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
