So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
